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Top 10 Ways To Get a 1-Night Stand To Leave

Welcome back, sexy readers! Get ready for the weekend with some much-needed laughter & enjoy my Top 10 list.

Top 10 Ways To Get a 1-Night Stand To Leave

10. Be harsh about it. "I'm going to take a shower now. When I get out, I expect you to be gone."

9. Feign glee. "Great! Maybe you can stop me from sleepwalking and attacking people in my sleep like I usually do."

8. Introduce a tertiary character. "My boyfriend will be home in 5 minutes."

7. Offer them a ride. "So, do I drop you off at the nearest subway station or should I call you a cab?"

6. Plead insanity. "Don't worry if you hear screaming during the night. It's just my brother who's staying with me since he got released from the Institute last week."

5. Get clingy. "I can't wait to introduce you to my whole family! I'm sure they'll be asking about the wedding, but we can plan that after our engagement party."

4. Try to make them pay. Note: this works best if a man says this to a woman. "So that'll be $500. Oh, you don't have the money? Leave now and we'll call it even."

3. Add the element of danger. "I'm really a secret agent and there's a team of hired assassins coming after me. I have a few extra guns so you can back me up if you stay the night."

2. Make them sign a release form that says "This session was monitored for scienfitic purposes." And when they ask what it is, you can reply with, "The government says I'm not legally at liberty to say."

1. Induce paranoia. "You can sleep over, but I request that you wear this aluminum foil hat so the aliens can't scramble our brain waves and abduct us like they did to me last time."

Have ideas to get rid of lingering one-night stands? Tell me on Facebook, Twitter or via email!

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