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Top 10 Signs You Partied Too Hard July 4

Welcome back, sexy readers.

I hope you all enjoyed celebrating Canada Day this past weekend, and are enjoying the ongoing July 4th festivities! Enjoy this week's Top 10 list, Top 10 Signs You Partied Too Hard July 4.

To celebrate July 4th, check out my current sale to enjoy for Free Shipping, a free & exclusive erotic short story, and even a $15 Lexi Sylver Gift Card!

Top 10 Signs You Partied Too Hard July 4

10. The local news is broadcasting an interrupted patriotic reenactment, during which "someone" wearing your Abe Lincoln costume stole a general's musket and ran off.

9. You find a video of yourself being escorted away by the cops after trying to join the parade, wearing an American flag as a toga.

8. Your dog's fur is painted red, white and blue, and you have a sneaking suspicion that you're the culprit.

7. You woke up naked on a raft in your neighbor's pool, spooning with an unusually frisky stray cat.

6. Your friends are still pissed that your fireworks mishap burned down all the tents at the campsite... except yours.

5. Your eyebrows and mustache were singed off by a too-close encounter with your new grill during a boastful demonstration to your friends.

4. You now have what you suspect is a permanent imprint of a beer can on your forehead.

3. You get a phone call from Visa asking if you spent $300 at McDonald's last night, which you swear is impossible while quietly examining the Big Mac sauce stains and wrappers all over your carpet.

2. You're nursing a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot from drunkenly exercising your second amendment right in the dark.

1. You discovered the reason your back feels sore is because of your new giant tattoo of the American flag... which appears to actually be a Canadian flag.

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