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Top 10 Euphemisms for Male Masturbation

Welcome back, sexy readers, for the 2nd installment of Top 10 Euphemisms for Masturbation.

Last Friday I featured Top 10 Euphemisms for Female Masturbation for the ladies.

This one's for the gents!

It's one of the ways I'm celebrating National Masturbation Month! (Aside from launching the new version of this website of course.)

Someone who would probably have appreciated this event is George Carlin, who once said, and I quote: ' 'If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.''


10 - Take Captain Picard to warp speed

9 - Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come

8 - Slap Yul Brenner a high five

7 - Help put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college

6 - Let the creative juices flow

5 - Badger the one-eyed witness

4 - Jack the beanstalk

3 - Have a three-way with Scarlett Johandson and Lindsay Lohand

2 - Engage in hand to glans combat

1 - Google the noodle

Have any other sexy euphemisms to share? Tell me on Facebook, Twitter or contact me!

Have a Lexi weekend,

Lexi xxx

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